connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
