If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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