I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
