I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The cops high fived after they tackled you
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
