Will you blow on my dice?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He did a backflip because drugs
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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