I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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