ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
