I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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