I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It's rum buckets o'clock
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
