Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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