That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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