He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
