I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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