She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Omg I joined a choir last night...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
