the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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