Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
