My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
