I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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