I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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