we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize