CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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