chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
