im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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