Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Holy shit dude........stairs
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