Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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