just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
