She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
