i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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