I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Randomize
