wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
