It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i will never coherently bang her
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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