my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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