o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
