He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
