my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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