he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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