I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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