ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize