the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
