their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
