dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
