I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
