Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm passing your future prison.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
