flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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