I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
