You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
All the doctor said was why
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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