U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I hate all girls vehemently.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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