After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
