I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
