I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
