well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize