just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
