2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
