therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
