Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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