i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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