So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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