Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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