hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
