Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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