need another drink. this is the easiest way
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
