Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
