Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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