I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
