I accidentally burped into my bong.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
even my farts smell like vagina
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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