Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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