Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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