hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
