Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
This house was built for laser tag.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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