I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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