No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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